Sakhayam means considering the Divine to be our closest, most intimate friend.
How could this be when the Divine is so vast and invisible to boot? Some can cultivate this state through the philosophy of Advaita, a philosophy which says we are no different from the Divine. Through Bhakti this concept is celebrated and enlivened.
Usually Sakhayam will involve awareness of the Divine as a form that one can relate to. In Christianity this is Jesus. For others it is Krishna, or Durga and so on. This form might be on your altar as a deity but might also be by your bedside so you can say goodnight; on your kitchen bench, so you can share food; as well as in your heart. The kind of discussion you would have with the Divine in this Bhav (mood, spirit) is intimate.
We care about the Divine as we would a good friend, or one of our children, or our beloved mum. It can be funny, or privately confiding, or sharing of any aspect of one’s life. There is nothing distant about it. There is real intimacy, a sense of caring and being cared for.
I remember years ago, after a period of intense devotion, trying to deal with all of the washed up inner insecurities and fears that come with sadhana. It comes up to be liberated, and for our own transformation and evolution. Dealing with it is not always easy and, generally speaking, takes courage. After it clears, we are awake and alive in a whole new way. It is always worthwhile. We just have to stay the course.
To stay in that place of spiritual awakening and not close one’s heart again, not back away from the Divine fire that is blazing, can be a poignant journey. One day I was leading a meditation with a room full of lovely people when I burst into tears. I was not even sure why, but a blob of unprocessed desolation was there and not able to be pushed back down again. Luckily people sent me love and continued to hold space, and I had a feeling of Divine closeness, very much like the Divine was with me, holding me as any of us might hold a friend who was having a tricky time.
We got through the meditation and afterwards I was starting to think I had imagined the presence of the Divine in such an intimate, friendly way. Then, a member of the class showed me a photo of her new grandchild. As I looked at the photo I was still thinking of the feeling of the Divine as a closest friend, and there on the front of the photo frame it said: “You’re my best friend.” I started crying again, marvelling at the law of correspondence and the law of economy through which my inner and outer state matched and confirmed each other. I knew it was the Divine being intimately aware of what I was going through. It had impulsed this woman to bring along THIS picture on THIS day to confirm my inner awareness. Through this, I had the experience of the Divine as my friend, continuing to love me and encourage me on my journey Home and helping me when I was a bit emotionally messy.
To the uninitiated it may sound irrelevant, improbable, and more likely if anything just a coincidence. To the bhakta, these moments are precious and worth all the work to clear ourselves of that which stands in the way of love. Allow yourself to be God/ess’s best friend. S/he will be yours in a heartbeat.
